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Braden was sitting on the edge of his bed staring at and through the far corner of the room. The moon etched his surroundings in cool silver hues and sharp weighty blacks. His bed was tightly made. The turquoise carpet had hardly a speck of dust on it. His desk had no paper on it. The closet doors were shut.
He stared at the corner where his pile of dirty clothes sat in the hamper. They were all neatly folded despite being bound for a washing machine. Braden wore loose flannel pajama bottoms with a red and black plaid pattern. His shirt was black and had the stylized letters of some store that he didn’t care about.
Braden kept staring. His mind wandered to and fro. His eyes never wavered. Sound from the conversations downstairs filtered through the door that stood ajar at the foot of his bed. It was Friday night and his roommates were pre-gaming. They had rented the house in September when school began. It creaked with the falling leaves and shivered in the winter snows. Now it was recovering with the spring flowers.
There were three guys and five women in all and everyone got along great. Currently they were all in the kitchen drinking except for Braden. He enjoyed hearing the coffee shop din of their laughter, drinks being poured and glasses clinking.
Finally, as if he had been waiting all along for it, something in the conversation downstairs grabbed his ear. “There is no way, have you heard us on the nights where I’m really feeling it?” Zach said.
“Oh and when are you really feeling it?” Shelly said.
“I’m just saying, come Friday night those bed springs aren’t squeaking themselves for hours.”
There was more laughter and Braden figured this was a topic that sounded interesting so he stood up and took a moment to smooth out his shirt creases. Then he pulled open his door all the way, squinted in the yellow hallway light, and walked downstairs.
The air was stagnant and humid in the kitchen. Braden walked in with a nod to a few people on his way to the refrigerator. He pulled it open and bent over to reach his drink of choice, paused, then smiled when he heard Shelly say, “top shelf, babe.”
He saw the beer in the back and grabbed two bottles. He opened them and brought them to the table that they were sitting around. It was a long, beat up, faux wooden centerpiece surrounded by all of his roommates and all of their stories. At one end of the table three girls were crowded around a phone giggling and occasionally disagreeing over which direction to swipe on a possible bachelor.
Braden sat down at the other end with Zach, Lane, Shelly, and Diane. “Braden, tell me something, how long do you last in bed?” Shelly punctuated this pointed question with a swig of her beer.
After living with these hooligans for so many months, Braden dodged the question in stride, “Exactly as long as I need to,” he said. The beer was bitter and cool.
“Booooo,” Diane said, “See, I told you we wouldn’t get an answer out of him.” Braden shrugged his shoulders and gave Diane a smile. She rolled her eyes and said, “whatever.” Her white tank top clung to her skin. Its straps ran up her back, twisted with the straps of her bra and her shoulder length brown hair then back down her shoulders to where the fabric strained against her pert breasts.
“That’s because he can’t last a minute,” Zach said. He was always one to challenge the manliness of his friends in the name of good fun.
“Projection much?” Lane said.
“Oh ho ho, slow right down mister. Don’t think we can’t hear you choking the chicken for all of three minutes every night,” Shelly laughed and pantomimed a fast masturbation motion over the table.
The far side of the table erupted in laughter at the state of a man’s tinder profile picture.
“Braden is probably too clean to jerk off, aren’t you Braden?” Zach said.
“No way, he seems like one of those calm on the surface guys with a huge dick and a bunch of fucked up fetishes in bed,” Shelly said. Her brown ponytail was coming undone so she reached up and pulled out her hair tie. As she shook out her hair and let it cascade down over her black sweatshirt, Braden’s dick twitched in his pajamas and he realized he absolutely should have masturbated before starting his night. This group loved nothing more than to talk about sex and it always left him with a tight lump of desire in his gut at the end of the night if he didn’t bring someone home.
“Braden’s got that engineering major’s dick, he probably knows the exact angle for maximum pleasure and minimum work and sciences his way through every hookup,” Lane said.
And so the conversation continued. Occasionally someone from one half of the table would mosey their attention to the other half. Often, someone would go to the fridge to get more cheap bottles of alcohol. Soon the table was covered from edge to edge in empty bottles, cans, cups, chip bags, and crumbs.
They talked about tiresome final assignments and hopeful summer plans. They talked about Marmaris Escort new love interests in classes and past trysts with fabulous and disappointing lovers alike. Eventually, the topic of each man’s sexual fortitude was back on the table. Only now it was heartened by the copious amounts of alcohol sloshing in people’s stomachs. Braden’s skin was flush and even he felt compelled to defend his manhood thanks to the courage he drank.
“You all know that I chose the bedroom down the hall from you for a reason,” he said.
“Oh yeah? And what might that be,” Shelly slurred.
“Yeah, what might that be,” Lane mimicked. Shelly smacked his pale shoulder hard enough to make him wince.
“I’d be keeping you up night after night if our room’s were next to each other and you know it,” Braden said.
“You haven’t had a good night in months, who do you think you are,” Shelly said.
“I ain’t no minute man, that’s for sure,” Braden said, gesturing with his bottle at Zach and Lane to make a point.
“Just whip em out already!” Zoe shouted from across the table without looking up from her phone.
Braden, Zach, Lane, Shelly, and Diane all looked over amused. Zach said, “Player three has entered the game. How is Tinder treating you tonight Zoe?”
Zoe lifted her eyes from the phone in her hands and smiled, “you tell me, champ.”
She turned her phone around and showed the table an ill lit photo of a good-sized dick in extreme close-up. She slid her finger across the screen and a second one took the place of the first. Everyone groaned and burst out laughing. Zach faked vomiting under the table. Zoe turned the phone back to her face.
After finally catching her breath from the laughter, Shelly said, “How about it boys? Why don’t you show us ladies who is boss?”
“You cannot be serious,” Diane said.
“We’re not going out tonight. I HEREBY DECLARE A TOURNAMENT,” Shelly hereby declared. She stood up and all the ladies at the far end of the table put their phones down to listen. “Who will be the king of cums? Who will be the jester of jerk offs? Find out after this short word from our sponsors. Ladies, come with me.”
“I’m not moving,” Zoe said and scooted the chair she was sitting in farther under the table. Her jet-black hair hung over her face and hid her eyes when she went back to her phone.
“There’s three of them and five of us, make the boys leave the room.” Juliet said. She was sitting next to Zoe and twisting her own long, straight blonde hair in her right hand. Between phrases she would smack pink bubble gum between her teeth.
Shelly looked at the men, waited and then said, “C’mon boys, what do you say?”
Zach said, “Sounds kind of uhhh gay.”
Lane chugged down the last of his umpteenth beer and said, “Who’s a bitch. You’re just scared you’re going to lose.”
“I’m in.” Zach fired back without pause.
Braden was outnumbered.
“Listen close boys,” shelly said, still standing and starting to organize the room around her. “Leave the kitchen and when we call you back in, no matter what we say, you have to do to it. Sound good? Okay. Here take the tequila with you while you’re gone. It might help.”
“Just don’t get whiskey dick,” Diane said to their backs.
Braden led the retreat to the living room beside the kitchen where he sat down at the far end of the couch. Zach took the recliner chair and turned on the television. Sports. Lane put the sizable bottle of tequila down on the floor and took the other side of the couch. “We’re not actually going to do anything right?” He asked.
“Pshhh, of course not, but now we’re here so I’d call it a win. Pass the tequila,” Zach said.
Braden watched the channels flip from sport to sport. His mind wandered to Diane’s breasts jutting from her chest. He pondered on the way they creased when she leaned into the table and imagined how they would look without the constraints. He thought about Riley who hadn’t said a word all night. She was the quietest in the house, sitting next to Zoe at the far end of the table and just soaking up the absurdity of the conversation around her.
Braden liked her wavy blonde hair. He liked how she giggled and blushed when he walked by her in the hall after a shower wearing only a towel. She was shorter than him by a mile and hardly ever wore shoes. He frequently saw her on the campus quad hula hooping or lying in the grass staring at the sky alone. When the weather was above sixty degrees she only ever wore a bikini top over her harem pants and naked feet. His mind’s eye traced the skin outline of her neck down her shoulders and rested on her small boobs. On colder spring days he could see the small buttons of her nipples making themselves known under the fabric. Soon he felt his penis swelling in his pajamas. He peered at his friends out of the sides of his eyes and when he saw they weren’t paying attention he gave his dick a good flex and watched a bulge form in the plaid pants then relax as he loosened Marmaris Escort Bayan his muscles.
Within moments Braden as forced to lean forward to hide the growing bulge in his pants. He casually did so and squinted at the television as if he was struggling to see. Laughter resounded into the room from the kitchen. Zach swigged more tequila with no chaser. He passed it to Braden who passed it to Lane who passed it to the floor.
In time, Diane sauntered into the room. “Ready boys?”
Zach turned off the television and stood up. Lane bent to pick up the tequila and followed Zach towards the door. Behind them, Braden stood up and reached down to pull his penis up into his waistband. It wouldn’t do to re-enter the kitchen with a tent in his pajamas showing he was actually excited by the idea of this contest. When he looked up from his adjustment he saw Diane shaking her head at him and quietly chuckling. He blushed and walked into the kitchen.
The dinner table, still covered in empty bottles was pushed against the wall and five chairs were side by side in front of it. The chair all the way to the left held Shelly who bounced up and down out of excitement. Next to her was Riley who sat with her legs and arms crossed. She was looking at the knees of her pants and bouncing a leg in the air.
Next to her, in the center chair was Zoe with her jet-black hair, still on her phone. Then there was Juliet chewing her gum and Diane took her spot in the last chair. In front of, and parallel to the chairs was a black sheet that was folded and lying on the floor about one foot away from the women.
Shelly began, “The ladies and I ha-“
“It was all Shelly,” Zoe said without looking up.
Shelly tried again after a pause. “The ladies and I have created a game to see who of you has the most control over your sexual perversions.”
Braden, Zach, and Lane gulped, they still stood in single file in the doorway looking over each other’s shoulders. None of them was bold enough to speak first, and all of them were competitive enough to let her continue.
“I need you gentleman to stand side by side in front of us. Your toes should be just off of our landing pad,” Shelly said. She was speaking with shocking clarity for someone who was that drunk. Braden walked behind Lane who walked behind Zach, then they fanned out once they were all in the room and stood next to each other. When Braden was no longer behind someone, Shelly doubled over in laughter and said, “Braden you’re looking raring to go.”
The other women looked down the line directly at Braden’s crotch and everyone started laughing. He dropped his head confused and realized that, in tucking his penis up into his waistband, he had also slipped his shirt neatly behind his pink head and was now standing with his dickhead on display in front of everyone. His skin flamed and he pulled his shirt out from behind its helmeted captor. The waistband released his dick back down into his pajamas. The tent that formed there encouraged the laughing women into hysterics.
“Step one,” Shelly said through fits of laughter, “is to get naked.”
Immediately the men protested, but none wanting to be outmanned by the other, they quickly gave in.
Once he committed to it, Zach didn’t waver. He was standing at the far end of the line in front of Diane and Juliet. He pulled his shirt over his head, then reached down and pulled off his pants, underwear and socks in one motion. The giggles abounded. Between his legs hung two very swollen testicles sagging low in the warm kitchen heat. Resting on top of them was, what appeared to be a wide penis head with no shaft to speak of. There was not a single hair below his happy trail so there was nothing for his member to hide behind.
In front of him the women leaned into each other in their laughter and Diane said, “What’s the word? What’s the word for it?”
“Chode,” Riley almost whispered.
Even more laughter washed over the men who were still undressing. Zoe held her phone up and unabashedly took a picture of Zach. The flash stung his eyes. Braden and Lane had just finished pulling their shirts off and started on their lower halves. Braden was first as he only wore the tented pajama bottoms, they slid down his shaft, over the head of his dick and down his legs. His penis popped free hard enough to slap his stomach. The woman laughed at this. Beside him Lane released his dick triumphantly.
Everyone gasped and Shelly said, “We may already have a winner ladies.”
“Is it hard yet?” Diane asked from the other side of the line.
“Clearly not, Diane. It’s facing the floor.”
The women took a moment to admire the large penis dangling towards the ground beside Braden whose penis was angrily staring straight between Shelly and Riley’s gob smacked faces.
Juliet spoke first, “They’re all circumcised, bummer.”
The rest of the women nodded as they took in this observation.
“Okay boys, on your knees in front of our Escort Marmaris sheet. Careful with that thing Braden, it looks like it could go off at any moment.” Shelly laughed.
Now, painfully aware of their nudity, the men knelt and awaited further instruction.
“In preparation, we learned immediately that, as women, all of us like different things,” Shelly began. “Some of us like quickies and some of us like all night boner jams.” The women nodded and laughed. “Thus, we couldn’t simply see who could last the longest without cumming because that does not unquestionably make you a good lover.” The women continued nodding and taking in the view, the men had no idea what was going on, they just knew they were horny.
Shelly continued, “You will be stroking yourself to orgasm for us. Listen closely: first to ejaculate loses.” She paused for effect. “Last to ejaculate also loses.”
There was silence.
“How are we supposed to…?” Zach trailed off.
Zoe put her phone into her pocket, leaned forward and said, “oh yes boys. We’re going to have fun with you.”
“I would say start your engines, but Braden already has and Zach is even dripping precum,” Diane said. Zach looked down and saw a stream of precum jagging its way down his furrowed sack. The women laughed.
Zach, still confident as ever said, “And when do we get to see you ladies entertain us?”
“Oh honey, we have the boobs, we make the rules. Don’t fight us on that.” Juliet said. She finished this statement by cupping her medium sized bosom and pumping them up and down. Braden felt his penis flex instinctively. Riley noticed this and hid her smile behind a hand. In unison, almost as if they rehearsed it, each dick oozed a long drop of precum onto the sheet below them. “Well hello boys, looks like you enjoyed that,” Juliet added. The women laughed.
“Do we all understand the rules? Don’t cum first, and DO NOT cum last,” Shelly said. Without waiting for a response she said, “readysetgo!” And they were off.
The women watched as the men kneeling before them looked down and picked up their dicks. Braden used his left hand and stroked very slowly all the way up and down his shaft. He was already on the verge of an orgasm so he couldn’t proceed much faster than a snail’s pace. Beside him, Lane confidently put both of his hands on his shaft and stroked up and down quickly.
At the far end of the row, Zach plucked his penis from atop his testicles with two fingers and began pumping up and down. Every man’s stroking coaxed more large streams of precum onto the floor. “Alright ladies, what do you think,” said Shelly proudly.
“I think Lane has got this in the bag, although Braden has to already be edging, otherwise why would he be stroking so slow?” Diane said.
“Ooooh, wittle Bwaden going to squirt his wittle load already?” Juliet teased.
“I like watching the little one use his two fingers. Zach how are you so confident with such a small dick?” Zoe asked.
“It’s…growing,” Zach said between moans. Within a minute every man had reached the edge of his orgasm and was breathing heavily. Braden felt his pleasure ebb and flow. He tried to hover as close to orgasm as possible, for he knew once one man popped, it was a race to see who could pop next.
“Ooooh ladies, it looks like we have a dead heat, why don’t we make this a little more interesting?” Shelly spun in her chair and reached for the table behind her. “Don’t spunk when I’m not looking boys,” she said.
When she rotated back towards the entertainment she held in her hand, two shot glasses. She put one on the sheet halfway between Braden and Lane and the other halfway between Lane and Zach. “Don’t get a drop of that goo anywhere, but in those glasses gentleman.”
“Why are there only two?” Lane said.
“Two losers, two glasses. Stick to stroking Laney,” Diane said.
By now the room echoed with grunts and moans from the boys. Lane’s hands were hardly moving up and down his massive shaft. Zach’s penis, which had grown substantially to his credit, was now being stroked with his whole hand, but at about one stroke for every three seconds.
Braden’s eyes were tightly shut and his mouth kept shifting as his body begged him to release. His balls were pulled up against the bottom of his shaft and dick was streaming precum all over the sheet. He was starting to panic that he would be the first to lose control. He re-assured himself by thinking that at least he wouldn’t be the last one to orgasm. But when he peeked out of the corner of his eye, he wasn’t so sure. Lane’s eyes were in laser focus on Diane’s breasts at the end of the row. His hands were completely still; their only stimulation was a gentle squeeze now and again to help him maintain his edge.
Zoe sighed, “can’t we just make them cum already? I’m getting bored.”
“Should we go to round two ladies?” Shelly said.
In response, every woman reached towards the bottom of her shirt. On a count of three they went down the line and took off their tops. Shelly led the charge. She pulled her black sweatshirt over her head and revealed a pink bra with white polka dots that cupped her small boobs. Riley was next, under her plain white shirt was her typical bikini top. Her nipples were wide-awake and the men gazed at them hungrily.
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