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CHAPTER 37They say timing is everything. Well, I guess that’s so. But, the timing can be either good or not good. It was real bad in the Hindu Kush, and, depending on one’s perspective, my latest foray into the matter of timing could be seen either way.I knew Harriet had delivered my message to the clan Cord. I’d thanked her profusely for that. And then I decided to make my re-acquaintance with by bud John Daniels.“I’d been alone in my miserable hovel of an apartment for almost a week. The empty JD bottles pretty much filled my little coffee table. My woman would never have allowed such a mess. But, she wasn’t here to criticize me or make me clean it up. If that was the upside to my situation it sure as hell wasn’t much of one. I needed my woman and I needed her bad, real bad.Jeff had come to stay with me those first nights; he’d taken time off from his work in Phoenix where he’d moved, of course, to be with his wife. I finally had to tell him to back off and get on with his life. He was recalcitrant, but he did back off, and he did go back to work—he was driving out of Allied’s main warehouse now.While he’d been with me, Harriet had come with him in the mornings and made sure I ate something. I didn’t tell her to back off. And she didn’t stay long anyway; just long enough to make sure I ate. She was a woman and I needed a woman around even if it wasn’t my woman. I had grown to really appreciate Harriet. But of course she’d gone back to Phoenix with her man too. She’d made me promise to get my act together. I’d humored her.******I was sick with loneliness. Loneliness is the worst. Nobody should have to be lonely; it’s not natural.I knew what I had to do to not be lonely anymore. I had to join my woman, my Rina. I looked around for a means to do that. I smiled. When we’d moved to California, we’d had to buy rope to tie down the stuff in the back of the truck. It was wound up in the broom closet.There was a cheapass, but strong looking beam that crossed the center of ceiling of the place that used to support a chandelier. That would do. The woman would finally be rid of me for good and be able to get on with her happy life. I’d leave a note. Nothing too melodramatic, just a note saying that I hoped that everybody would have good and happy lives. Well, okay, so it would be kind of melodramatic.I wrote the note and addressed it to the Cords of Phoenix. I figured they’d get it soon enough.The rope was way too long. I cut it in half with a kitchen knife and threw the excess in the corner.I created a noose at one end and the other end I tossed over the beam and secured it with a slip knot. I’d estimated the necessary length for my purpose.Sitting myself up on the bed, I pulled my chair up on top of it and sat in it. I put the noose over my head and around my neck. I closed my eyes praying that I wouldn’t suffer too much before I lost consciousness. I let myself fall out of my chair.I was swinging and trying to get at the rope to undo it, but I couldn’t. I would be dead in minutes. “I’m coming Rina!” was my last thought. Well almost.I heard the beeping. I was in the fucking hospital. Somehow I had failed.“Doctor!” someone called out.Suddenly I was surrounded by people in white.Somebody gave me a shot of something, and it wasn’t Jack Daniels whiskey, more’s the pity. I slept.The sunlight filled the room and hurt my eyes.“Well welcome back,” said Owen Cord. I tried to turn away from him, but I was handcuffed to the bed.“The cops,” he said. “It’s routine in these cases so I’m told. I guess they didn’t want to give you another opportunity to do yourself harm.”“What happened?” I said. “Did the rope break?”“No, I cut you down. You were nice enough to leave a knife on the bed. A couple of more minutes and it would have been over,” he said.“Why’d you bother? You weren’t even supposed to come down,” I said. “I know that Harriet delivered my message to the clan Cord. She told me so.”“Yes, well she did deliver it. And I ignored it,” he said.“Sounds about right,” I said.“You’re going to be spending some time with a counselor before they let you outta here,” he said. “Oh, and this is the Psyche unit. Protocol.”“Sam, that night the night Pendik escort bayan of the wedding, Mia said you’d agreed to stay over for the night. That so?” he said.“Yeah,” I said.“Well?” he said.“Your better half made it clear that Rina and I weren’t welcome. She said some nasty stuff to my woman. There was no way I was staying over with her within earshot,” I said.“That’s not the way I heard it,” he said.“Yeah, well that’s a big surprise,” I said.“Oh?” he said.“She told her, Rina, to butt out, that she was not a member of the family. That when Rina tried to get me to calm down and not be cold to the woman,” I said. “That’s what happened exactly what happened. But it doesn’t matter. I’m alone again, and that’s all there is to it, and now I would appreciate it if you would just honor my request to not be bothered by any of you anymore. Think you could do that?” I said.“Sam I know you’ve got to be just crushed by your loss. I liked Rina, and I did think she was good for you. But you’re wrong about being alone. Even Abigail is feeling very down because of the way she’s acted toward you guys. And, I am not kidding about that. Please,” he said.“You’re a liar!” I said. “I know exactly what that woman thinks of me and thought of Rina too. I’ve heard her say it both behind our backs and to our faces. So don’t give me any of that ‘she cares’ shit. She doesn’t and neither do I.” He shook his head, but essentially ignored my rant.“Sam, the kids wanted to visit you. I put the boff on that until you get out of here. But, they’ll be around as soon as you are. Okay?” he said.“No,” I said.“I’ll take that as a yes,” he said, and he didn’t smile.“I meant no!” I said. “I’m done.”“And Sam, I did find the note. I didn’t let the police have it, and no one has seen it except me. I figured that under the circumstances that once you’re out of here… I will give it back to you if you want. Or, I can destroy it if you’d prefer,” he said.I had to appreciate that little piece of kindness; I guess that’s what it was, on his part. What I didn’t appreciate was his apparent refusal to take no for an answer.“Look,” I said. “I have never gotten anything from the clan Cord that meant a damn thing to me, and I know for damn sure I’m not going to now either. I don’t want or need any of your money. I don’t want or need any of your favors. All I ever wanted from any of you was respect and my rights as the one and only father of my children.”“Sam…” he started. I held up my hand. I wasn’t done.“It’s clear to me, and has been for a long time that those are things that even with all of your money you just can’t afford. So I’m cutting my losses and getting myself the hell out of your way. Kindly, at least, let me have the one small favor of your absence from my life—you and the rest of them. Okay?” I said. “Oh, and yes, please destroy the note. And thank you for not letting anyone see it. It’s bad enough that you’ve seen it.”“No problem, consider it done.“But, Sam, the one thing I am not going to agree to, is to let you cut yourself off from your family, us. Not a chance in hell for that to ever be happening. Get used to the idea. And when they do let you out of here, Sam, you and I will be sitting down to work things out, and that to your satisfaction. I mean it my man, I do,” he said.“You must be some kind of force in the business world, Mister Cord. Can I ask, just how much geld do you have anyway?” I said. I didn’t think he’d actually answer me or tell me the truth if he did. But, he did both.“Not quite three billion.” He said. “But it varies with market conditions. Why, you wanna get into the business? I can help with that,” he said. I think I stared at the man for a long minute a real long minute.“No wonder the woman dumped me for you. Hell, you could have any woman in the fucking world with that kind of financial resume!“For the record, objectively speaking, are you really that good or just that lucky?” I said.“Nobody’s that lucky. I’m that good. It’s a matter of knowledge, long hours, and hard work. And that, Mister, is why she dumped you for me. You were into the hard work right enough, but not the learning end Escort Beykoz of things. She realized it once she met me, and when she did you were toast. If it hadn’t been me it would have been some other guy, sooner or later you were going to be toast,” he said.******“So how is he, give?” said Abigail.“Bitter, and lonely, and well, bitter,” he said. “He really misses his woman. I am on the verge of trying to find him another one to take her place. And, add to that I am still getting reports about research into facial reconstruction. Devon’s doing a good job, but so far no success. But, I’m still hopeful.”“Hmm,” she said. “You sure you want to go down that road again, I mean the matchmaking road?”“No, I’m not sure. I will be trying to put some women in his way, but neither party will know it’s me doing the putting,” he said. “He could do it himself, but he is too damn reserved to get it done in this lifetime. Yes, he’s messed up physically, but so are a lot of other people out there, women.”“I guess,” she said. “I guess.”******The shrink was happy, I was happy, he pronounced me totally mad, but he was smiling when he said it. And he said it four hours before he let me escape from the nut house.That said. I still wasn’t free. The man was there to pick me up and shanghai me from the scene in his very expensive ride. It was 300 miles from L.A. to Phoenix which I was informed we’d be going to. And for some reason, and no reason, I was okay with it: the children were there, so I guess that was a reason. Did I want to see them? I’d said and I didn’t. But . . .“I took the liberty of moving you back from California,” he said.“What the fuck!” I said. I had not intended to stay in Phoenix not even. California was my home, had been mine and Rina’s but now it was just mine.“But to Tucson not Phoenix, I knew Phoenix would have been overkill. I even got you your old apartment back. Had to buy out the couple that had it, but they were happy enough when they left,” he said.“I’ll bet,” I said. Well at least it wasn’t Phoenix.“So, if I’ve got my old apartment back, why are we headed to Phoenix,” I said. “And how much did you pay the renters. I’m gonna repay you for that.”“Isn’t it obvious? To see your babies that’s why, and yes they are all holed up at Casa de Cord for the next several days,” he said, “waiting for you. And you will not be repaying me for buying out the renters, not even.” I snorted, but arguing with him at this point would be a waste of time. I’d be paying him back sooner or later; that was my promise to myself no matter what. I would not being owing the man money not money not ever.“Shit, I’m not ready for this,” I said.“You’ll never be more ready. And, just so you’ll know: they do know you tried to off yourself. And, if I even need to say it, I did destroy the note as per your instructions,” he said.“Thanks for that,” I said.“Oh, and I almost forgot. Claire Cunningham came by. She has some news for you,” He said.“What news?” I said.“She asked me to not tell you. She wants to do it. I think that Jeff’s in on it too. And no it’s not another party. So don’t worry, okay?” he said.“Too bad. That last one was a good party. And it’s where I met Rina,” I said. And suddenly I was sad again, and silent for the rest to of the 300 mile ride back to Phoenix from the hospital in L.A.CHAPTER 38The closer we got to Casa de Cord the antsier I got. I didn’t want to see the woman. I did want to see the children. But the woman, not a fucking chance, not after the way she treated my wife, my real woman! But, I supposed I was going to have to.It’d been almost a month since I lost my true love. I had never felt so lost, not even after Abigail had left me. I don’t know why I was comparing them, but I guessed it was inevitable. Go figure.He pulled into the drive and helped me get my chair the heck out of the back and set it up for me. I didn’t need his help but there was no use in telling him that. Arguing the point would just have delayed me getting it set up.Done and in my chair, he held me up from going up to the ramp, a ramp he’d had put in for me. Sam, I’m going to ask you to please, well, be mellow. Just Cevizli escort let things take their normal course. Everyone in there is mortally afraid that they are going to hurt you more than they already have, or make things worse than they already are for you. So please, okay? Let the past bury the past. She’ll undoubtedly tell you how sorry she is. And, no it’s not scripted, so I really don’t know what she’s going to say; just that she is going to say something; that’s a given, okay?” he said.“I guess,” I said. But, the girls and Ron?” I said.“They’re here and the new husbands too. Things might be a little confused at first, but they’re here, and they will likely have questions. Just go with the flow and let them take care of you,” he said. I nodded.“Dad!” came the chorus of greetings from the girls. Ronnie held back a little, but he did give me a little wave. I waved back. He was my young man.I was surrounded and it made me feel—something—safe maybe. Yes safe is what it was.The woman wasn’t in evidence. I wondered at that. I was ushered into the dining room. Food was already prepared. I was hungry, psyche ward vittles were not my kind of dining pleasure. We ate and talked, and the girls made sure I knew that they were there for me and were so sad that “our” Rina was gone to heaven. The whole scene was surreal, well it was for me.I got kisses from the both of my daughters and a hug from my son. The husbands more or less remained in the background after tendering their formal greetings. It had to be supper strange for the two of them. The early dinner having been taken care of the crowd of them all kinda slipped out of the room. I was strangely alone. Well, I was for maybe half a minute. Then she was there, and she never looked more beautiful, not that I could recall at any rate.“You look good,” I said, not quite sneering my accurate but coldly informal greeting.“Thank you,” she said.We kinda stared at each other for the longest time. It was after 3:00 p.m. She looked up at the clock and went back to staring at me.“Could I interest you in a beer or maybe something stronger?” she said.“Whiskey,” I said. It was early but not that early. She left me for a short two minutes and returned with a bottle of Gentleman Jack and a couple of old fashioned glasses.“I see it’s one thing you bothered to remember,” I said.“Of course,” she said. Gentleman Jack had been my favorite whiskey back in the day—before I left for the Middle East.So far neither of us had said anything meaningful. We sipped our drinks and just kind of watched each other. She set her glass down and looked at me. I could feel my face twitching with a growing anger or angst or something.“I was a shit the last time we saw each other,” she said. I didn’t respond to her remark.“Can you find it in your heart to forgive me—twice?” she said. I tendered her a confused look.“Twice?” I said.“Yes, once for you and once for Rina. I cannot believe I was so mean to that good woman,” she said.I didn’t say anything. She apparently took it for a “no” answer.“I understand,” she said. “At least you felt positive enough to come here today. I was deathly afraid you wouldn’t.”“I don’t know,” I said.“Huh?” she said.“I don’t know if I can forgive you, and I certainly don’t know if I can forgive you for what you said to my wife,” I said. “I just don’t know.”“I understand,” she said. “Maybe someday.” She had a hopeful look on her face.“Yeah, maybe someday,” I said.“Sam, your loss: can I say how sorry I am for you. I may not have been a very good person, I mean the day of the wedding, but I well…” she said.“Whatever. And it is my loss. You have no idea,” I said.“On that score, Sam, I think I do. I know how much my leaving you cost you. And now you losing that wonderful girl… it’s got to be just awful for you. And then, you doing what you did. Sam, no matter what, never even think about doing something like that again. Promise me, sir, please,” she said.“I was out of it, lost. Still am, but I’m coherent now. It’s all, life, just kind of gray, and I know that makes no sense; well, to anyone but me. But no, I will not be doing anything like that again.”“Sam, you have a family, this family. And that includes me. And it most certainly includes the Girls and Ronald. And Sam, you are their dad. I know Owen thinks of himself that way too; and I know you have fought tooth and nail against that kind of thinking, but the reality is it is your seed that brought them to us, all of them.
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