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Mikki 01
“Thanks for calling Animal Control, Jacob, to deal with that stray dog. Also, that’s a huge dog! I mean, they will take care of him, right, Jacob?”
“Well, Mikki, I’m not a huge fan of city animal shelters, but they’re what we have and hopefully there will be a quick reunion with the owner. Also, have I not been paying attention or is this how you always look in the late afternoons then, Mikki?”
“Oh, um, LOL, it’s early evening to me, Jacob, but thanks for noticing. Also, if you insist on asking then, I’m thinking about going down to Ironside tonight, hence the Capri jeans for durability and for the height they break up above my ankles for dryness, so.”
“Oh, well, alright, that sounds smart, but I mean, um, so is the gun in your waistband for the stray dog or is something going down at Ironside tonight then, Mikki?”
“LOL, I mean, that’s a huge dog and all, Jacob, but as it turns out, I couldn’t find a long enough extension cord to power up my hot glue gun outside, but I sort of felt like a bad ass once I stuffed it into my jeans and then you know, then came the gangster selfies and then came the selfies with the fresh glue sticks ammunition just peeking out of my back pocket and so on and so on, so. Anyways, what are you doing tonight, Jacob? And I know that you’re doing something because [sniff, whiff], you smell squeaky clean, so?”
“Oh, ugh, my Aunt Hillary is having an informal family gathering for her daughter’s something or other party and um, it starts at 7pm, so?”
“Oh, did your Aunt Hillary use the word “informal” or did you adlib that part then, Jacob?”
“I mean, that’s implied when there is a family party for her 18th birthday just one day in advance of the general blow out party that’s tomorrow night, am I right, Mikki?”
[Removes bad ass hot glue from waistband because Capri jeans are too tight fitting for bad ass look]
“Jacob, I’m not going to say that you’re right, so I’ll go with that you’re not exactly wrong if it’s just family, but no wrinkled and frayed cargo shorts with large side pockets, right, Jacob? There will be plenty of photos taken for the family albums and all, so?”
I mean, I just said it, right? He smelled shower fresh, yet he was dressed in wrinkled and frayed cargo shorts with large side pockets, so I just wanted to make sure that he was planning on updating his look before he departed for the party, so. Also, I pointed downwards.
[Jacob looks down]
“Oh, well, I mean, ah, well, I mean, yea, these are just my “pre-party” shorts, tee, he, so.”
LOL, guys who wear wrinkled and frayed cargo shorts with large side pockets at the wrong time, right? Not to mention what I assumed was a baseball in his left side and wrinkled pocket. But Jacob had warmed up to me over to overlook my manner of dressing and allowed me to help him with a better choice of family party clothing. Not that I’m saying a burlap bag would have better.
But I should say that he just caved in once I “volunteered” to help him select a new and improved outfit choice because I hooked his arm pretty good and started walking to his side door and he’s generally confused about me between his knowledge that I’m denizli escort a guy and what he sees with his eyes, so, well, so I won.
But I should have hidden my bad ass hot glue gun better, I suppose.
“Ma-am, ma-am, we have control of the stray dog, so please put down the weapon! Oh, LOL, carry on then and have a nice night and get a longer extension cord. Also, ma-am or um??????”
Anyways, back to being inside of Jacob’s “Jacob” house. Obviously, his dining table doubles as his mail holder, which he seems to not read and obviously he falls asleep on the couch at least twice a week, all of which his business, I guess, but he could straighten out the blanket once in a while. But oddly enough, huh, his bathroom was surprisingly clean.
Also, wow, a guys closet and their clothes dressers, right?
“Ooh, these pants are a nice Khaki grey and you’ll look nice in this medium blue Polo shirt and this grey t-shirt will set your look by wearing it under the Polo, which you will tuck in and then slightly pull out to create a loop over your beltline all the way around your body, so?”
“Ah, I mean, isn’t all that just a little “preppy” for me then, Mikki?”
“Jacob, search 18th birthday on the internet and I guarantee you that “big deal” is repeated a lot. Also, I’m surprised to find such nice casual dress Khaki pants in your closet. Wait, OMG, LOL, momma, right?”
“Well, we just shop differently, that’s all.”
Mom’s, right? Saving the day since the beginning of time.
“I’ll give you privacy to change and maybe make up your couch bed then, Jacob.”
I said as I held up his old wrinkled cargo shorts and five will get you ten that he has a line of credit at the “We Be Wrinkles” department store, LOL. Baseball for large side pocket sold separately.
“Alright, Mikki, I apparently don’t get the “pulling out and looping thing of the Polo shirt, so?”
“Nope, you do not, Jacob.”
Now, I’m not even going to explain that train wreck, but imagine a wave pool that went all the way around his body and back again. I mean, his shirt was all “loop” and “droop” over and over and over.
Oh, and then don’t even ask me where I got the nerve to unbuckle his belt and then unbutton his Khaki’s and then started the process over again from scratch. Unless you like that sort of thing, which if you do, well, there isn’t any video, but my hands were deep! All the way around his body! If you like that sort of thing. Jacob liked that sort of thing, by the way.
“Sorry, Jacob, but the shirt has to be tucked all the way in and down first.”
And he began to shake just a little, if you like that sort of thing too. Also, Jacob liked that sort of thing.
“Ooh, um, maybe it’s not tucked in tight enough in the front then, Mikki. I mean, the looping, right?”
“Oh, things are plenty “tucked in” inside of your front area and if you don’t start thinking about baseball or something, things will only get tighter, so. And I guess we’ll just call it a tie between the way I’m tucking you in and with the way your hand has found my back pocket, so?”
“I mean, the shiny glue sticks caught me eye, that’s all, Mikki, so.”
Hmm, develi escort the clear glue sticks sticking just of my back pocket caught his eye, huh? LOL, sounds legit!
“Well, the tie is my favor for now, but I think that’s enough before you need another shower, so.”
To his disappointment, I think, I reversed the unbuttoning and unbuckling process, LOL, before he totally needed another shower. And another pair of Khaki’s.
“See, Jacob, after everything is all tight and buttoned up, you just gently pull, loop over, pull, loop over, pull, loop over, pull and one last loop over! See? LOL, preppy!”
[Snap, click, snap, click, attach photo, ping, text sent]
“Oh, that’s a good look on you then, Jacob. I mean, you’ll be appreciated at the party then.”
“Ahh, you’re just saying that, Mikki. I mean, where do I go to sign up for the preppy crew then?”
[Ping, ping, ping, ping]
“Attention ladies 19 and up,”
[Whoop]
“Presenting my single cousin,”
[Whoop]
“Available at family party 2night,”
[Whoop]
“Holla, 7pm.”
Oh, I held my phone and his phone up to his face! LOL, like a surround ego boost.
“You were saying stud?”
[Whoop]
“Bring presents! LOL.”
LOL, teenaged girls and social media, right? But I liked how it ended with “bring presents”, right? Not that I will copy that one.
“Oh, it’s starting to sound like the little family party just grew a little then, Jacob. Also, I’m sorry that I “tucked” you in so much. I didn’t realize that those things fit so well in a person’s hand, so.”
“Mikki, “those things” then?”
“Fine, a man’s hard on fits comfortably in several places on or in another person, so.”
“We should get naked, Mikki!”
“Ahh, we just got you dressed and my Capri jeans require tools to remove, so?”
“Oh, so you’re not exactly saying “no” then, right Mikki?”
“I’m trying really hard to not say anything, Jacob, other than I’m saying that I’m sorry you’re leaving with a hard on, so. That fit into my hand.”
I mean, what Jacob said next was, well, he didn’t really say much of anything, well, unless the sound of zippers going down count as words, so. Now, I had a lot to say about how he basically just trashed all the tucking, pulling and looping work that I just performed, so. I mean, things to say later.
“Oh, oh, yea, I do fit in your hand quite well then, Mikki, so, ahh, hmm.”
[Stroke, rookie stroke, slip, slip, stroke, fap, fap]
“I mean, I can’t finish you like this, Jacob. I mean, I don’t know how you “finish” or anything, but even the smallest droplet will show up like a sore thumb on your grey Khaki’s and all those “19 and up” ladies will see it, so.”
[Fap, fap, fap, stroke, stroke, slip, slip, stroke, fap]
“Not to mention your family members would notice the spots too, so.”
[Fap, fap, fap, fap, fap, fap, fap, fap]
[Oh snap, a push down of the shoulders then?]
“NO, Jacob!”
“Well, ahh, ahh, oh, oh, well, ooh.”
“You SOB!”
Well, here’s a couple things about all that. First, whoever said “finish what you started” should have just shut it! Although devrek escort when Jacob yelled it out like five times, really, really fast, LOL, I liked how commanding he sounded and all.
Secondly, well, I’ve swallowed Oysters and that was actually like ten times better than swallowing Oysters, which just might be my taste buds, but it was easier to swallow for me. And thirdly, LOL, whoever said that “good to the last drop” thing wasn’t lying, but those might just be my taste buds. And someone should say that I did alright too, not that I’m fishing around for validation or anything. I mean, I completely cleaned the plate of his Oyster juice and saved his Khaki’s, so a little credit please.
But here’s the thing about the fourth thing. Um, I mean, I had no previous experience or anything other than videos on Chang, but um, like when he finished, I mean his plate of Oyster juice just seemed a little light, not that I’m complaining or anything. Which may have been why it was so easy, but still, right? Don’t real guys finish like a fire hose or something? Like, squirt, blast, squirt for minutes as opposed to, well, that’s Jacob’s business, I guess.
“Well now, Mikki, I mean, that was amazing and look, my Khaki’s look spot free, so?”
“Well, you did most of the work and all, Jacob and once things got started, I mean, I was in the moment with you, so.”
“Oh, you were in the moment with me alright and if that was your first moment, I mean, you should get credit for that, so.”
“Well, someone once said something about giving credit where credit is due, so alright then. Also, I’m not leaving until we smash lips!”
[Mwah, tongue flick, smooch, smack, smack, tongue stab, mwah]
“Alright, Jacob, that was nice. Surprising, but nice. Can you redress yourself then, Jacob?”
“Oh, oh, oh, I mean, I’m still a rookie with the preppy look process and all. Wah.”
“LOL, nice try, cry baby. And since when do guys stroke it themselves while pointing it at their bedroom date when it’s spent and limp then, huh?”
“When they know another one is coming and before they get redressed, duh.”
I mean, whoever said that “you have another thing coming” was most certainly a guy! And that guy may or may not have had a bedroom date. Who may or may not have been at least willing to test his theory. Because it was better than Oysters.
“I mean, we’re ending up in bed together pretty soon then, right Mikki?”
“No. Maybe. I don’t know. I mean, right now, you need to get busy with the tucking, pulling and looping of your Polo shirt, Jacob so you look nice for all those “19 and up” ladies that your cousin has advertised you to, even though you’re way too spent and limp to satisfy, so.”
“Hey!”
“Hey back at you. That’s just a testament to me and my efforts in terms of proper credit, that’s all, so.”
“Well, am I’m doing it right with the tucking and the pulling and the looping, right Mikki?”
“You’re impossible, Jacob! Arms up and my Capri’s stay on, so.”
“Ahh, come on, Mikki, I can get it up for a little quick pokey, poke, so???”
Oh, no way, folks! Eating Oysters is one thing, but cracking the Oyster shell is a completely other thing, so. Plus, LOL, I mean, I know me, so I’m not a good comparison, but even my second time of tucking and pulling and then looping said, nope, sorry “19 and up” ladies, he was done!
Right? Unless someone once said “the third time’s a charm or something, LOL.
End Mikki 01
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