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For the first time in months, Jackie was staying home Sunday night. She needed to be alone. Sipping her beer, she pointed the remote at the television and turned the sound up. Cheers filled her apartment, over scored only by the announcers’ halting sentences. Cam had been a great fuck and the addition of his little girlfriend or whatever she was to him was interesting. Dramatic and sexy. But never had she felt more lonely than when she went home alone that night. She hadn’t wanted Cam to walk her home. It wasn’t his place. It was Washington’s. Jackie took another long pull on her beer. It was like she’d told her boss this morning. Business was fine, nothing more to do there. Nothing held her there. It was time for her to move. Then maybe should could get Washington out of her head. A knock at the door jarred her out of her stream of consciousness. Hardly knowing anyone in the city, she never got visitors. Sighing, she heaved herself up from the couch and looked through the peephole. Washington. Jackie rolled back from her tiptoes to her heels. What the hell was he doing out there? “I know you saw me. The light cut out from the peephole for a second.” His voice carried through the door. Was that really possible? Surely not. He was such an ass. Biting back a smile, she opened the door. Snow covered the ground and dusted the tops of cars lining the street behind him as he shoved his hands in the pockets of his coat. The cold bit through the open doorway, rushing over the bare skin of her chest. She zipped up her sweatshirt and crossed her arms, fighting the freeze. “I’m sorry? Can I help you?” He looked her over, from her socked feet to her fleece pants and her bulky sweatshirt, before finally meeting her eyes. “You weren’t at the bar.” His deep voice was just a murmur. “No.” She leaned against the door frame. “I was there last Monday though.” His jaw clenched and his gaze dropped to her feet. “Did you stay home because of me?” Jackie had never thought she’d see this expression on his face. Rueful? Ashamed? Worried? Whatever happened to make him feel like that, it was both endearing and something she wanted to fix. A smile twitched at the corner of her mouth. “It’s not always about you, Washington.” He met her eyes, his faltering grin throwing her off balance. “Then stop being so rude and invite me in.” She stepped aside, letting him walk inside her apartment for the first time. Locking the door behind him, the irony of his request today versus his reaction last week wasn’t lost on her. Washington was right in front of her when she turned. His green eyes watched her with an intensity that made her breath catch in her throat. “What’s wrong?” she asked. “Why didn’t you go tonight?” Her heart was racing. She swallowed. His question was simple. The answers weren’t. Lying was an option, or skirting the truth, but she found she had the energy for neither. “I need to change my life.” She played with the string on her hoodie. “First step, I guess.” “What kind of change?” “Starting with being around you.” He sucked in a breath. “Ouch, Jack.” “The truth hurts, Wash. Yours too.” “Okay.” He nodded, Göztepe escort his gaze catching on her lips. “You let me in your apartment so you don’t hate me. Why don’t you want to be around me?” Sighing, Jackie pushed past him and walked in the living room. “I need a beer for this.” His gravelly laugh rumbled behind her. She closed her eyes and let the sound wash over her. It was one of the sexiest and most comforting sounds in the world. Honest. Happy. Simple. She turned in time to see Washington slip out from the kitchen, beer in hand. “Who said you can drink my beer?” “Oh, sorry.” He popped the cap off. “Thought you mentioning it meant I needed one too. What kind of hostess are you?” Jackie just stood in front of her couch, a smile on her face and a warm feeling in her chest as he sauntered toward her. Imagining him coming over to put his arms around her. How she’d lean against him. Kiss his smart ass mouth. Taking a swig of beer, she sat down. Tried to push the fantasy away. He sat next to her. “Okay. It’s not fun time.” Running her fingers through her long black ponytail, Jackie looked up at him. “I like you. I haven’t liked someone like this in a long time. It’s not like I can turn it off. What’s worse is that I know you feel the same way but you’ve deluded yourself into thinking you’re some asshole.” “I am.” His voice was sharp, promising. “You’re not to me.” “Aren’t I?” His eyes narrowed. “No. You’re not.” She lifted her chin. “I don’t know what kinds of things you’ve done in the past or what your gimmick was when we first met, but you’ve never been a dick to me. For Christ’s sake, you pay for most of our drinks and walk me home every night without demanding anything in return.” He pursed his lips. “You barely know me.” “Bullshit. You barely know yourself.” Washington blinked, cocking his head. Jackie took a deep breath. “I don’t care what kind of asshole you used to be. We’ve all done shitty things in life. But the mistakes we’ve made don’t label us forever. Who we become does.” “Really.” He took a sip of his beer and put it on the coffee table with a clunk, resting his elbows on his knees. “After Amber died, do you know what I did? I went out and got wasted with some friends. Then I took home some girl I didn’t know. That was the day of her fucking wake.” The admission was like a slap in the face. “I did it again after her funeral.” She stared at him as he turned to face her. “Thinking differently yet, Jackie?” The blinking light of the television highlighted the fine lines around his eyes, shadowing the other half of his face. Like his dark side dared her to stand by what she’d said. Dared her to believe in him when he didn’t believe in himself. She wouldn’t let herself get caught up in the past that he couldn’t let go. “You were grieving.” “I have fucked so many women, I can’t even tell you the number anymore. I’ve used every line to get them in bed. I’m selfish and crude.” “Not with me.” “Hawk is there almost every time I pick someone up.” The bartender. “What does that have to do with anything?” “He’s Amber’s brother.” Her fingers tingled, Caddebostan escort bayan her body going cold. “What?” “That’s how fucked up I am, Jackie. It’s what I’m trying to tell you. Even him being there doesn’t stop me. It almost spurs me on.” Shaking her head, she looked at the game. Tried to get her mind together. She knew what he was trying to do. Distract her. Make her see everything bad about him until she threw him out of her life. But she knew she wasn’t wrong about him. “You’re an idiot,” she said. “Asshole,” he corrected. “Not to me.” “To you too.” She took a deep breath and let it out. Another. “Have you done any of that since you met me?” Cheers arose from the television as a player ran to a touchdown. He was silent, the only sound the beer rushing through his bottle as he took a swig. Jackie looked at him. “You deserve someone better than me,” he said. “Right.” Shaking her head again, she turned back to the game. The player scored a touchdown, doing a chicken dance at the end zone. A replay echoed over the screen from two different angles, the sportscasters yammering about the run. “I had sex with that blonde guy from the bar last week,” she said. “Cam.” Washington’s voice was monotone as he stared at the television. Jackie snuck a glance at him. “How do you know his name?” “I grew up here. We’re friends. Did you enjoy yourself?” “You’re… friends?” He nodded, then slowly turned to face her again. “He’s been wanting to fuck you for awhile. You needed a lay. Did you enjoy it?” “You…” Her mouth dropped open as she tried to formulate words. “Are you saying you told him to have sex with me?” “Did he make you come?” His expression was impassive, his body rigid. “Y-yes. What the fuck, Washington?” “I didn’t tell him to fuck you, Jackie. You did. I just told him I wouldn’t be pissed at him.” Hawk’s words came back to her, him urging her not to go home with Cam. He’d known, and she hadn’t listened. “That doesn’t bother you?” she asked. “Seriously?” He shrugged, looking down at his beer on the coffee table. “Not if it helped. You needed it.” Jackie heaved a short laugh and covered her face with her hand. “What?” he asked. “Sex isn’t like Tylenol, Washington. It only would have helped if it were with… you.” “Let it go,” he murmured. She shut her eyes. Took a deep breath. “The meaningless sex thing doesn’t work for me anymore. Walking home that night was the loneliest I’ve ever felt.” “You walked home alone?” His deep voice was tight, constrained. “Of course I did,” she said, opening her eyes to look at him. “You weren’t there.” Washington pursed his broad lips, turning back to the television. “He shouldn’t have let you do that.” Her heart sank with every second of silence between them, waiting for him to say something. Do something. Anything. He didn’t. “So I think I’m leaving.” The words were out of her mouth before she could think about voicing them. Hands curling into fists, he stared at her. “Leaving? Where would you go?” “Wherever my job needs me.” She shrugged. His emerald green eyes seemed to pin her to the couch. Escort Bağdat Caddesi “Trying to manipulate me, Jackie?” The thought hadn’t actually crossed her mind. But now that he’d brought it up…. “Manipulate you into doing what?” Washington didn’t reply. Just watched her face. A smile worked into the curve of her mouth. “I didn’t know you could manipulate assholes.” “You can,” he muttered. “You just may not be prepared for what you get.” Even if she couldn’t have him the way she really wanted him, she’d settle for sex. It was true that one night didn’t mean the world, but she’d take what she could get from him. “You’re not really moving, are you?” he asked. “Talked to my boss about it this morning.” “No.” “Right.” Jackie looked back at the game, butterflies in her stomach. Her heart beat a thousand times a minute. “What are you going to do to stop me?” “You’re serious.” She didn’t answer. Just leaned back into the couch, staring straight ahead at the game and not paying any attention to it. “Is… this a a definite thing?” “This morning it was.” She rolled the empty beer bottle in her hands. “Now I’m not so sure.” “What changed?” Jackie met his gaze. “You knocked on my door.” “Me.” His lips turned down. “You would have moved if I hadn’t shown up? Do you know how crazy that sounds?” “Oh, yeah, right.” She stood up, outrage pouring through her body as she tried to get a grip on herself. “It’s fucking crazy that I’d care about you at all.” “After everything I just said to you? Yes. It is fucking crazy.” She left him on the couch, walking into the kitchen with her head held high. Behind the thin wall between them, she put her empty bottle on the counter and closed her eyes. What the hell was she doing? Even when she was a teenager, Jackie had never fought for a man. With that, she’d never envisioned herself fighting one as he fought against her. “What the fuck?” she whispered, leaning her elbows on the counter and putting her face in her hands. Madness. It was madness. Washington was right. She was out of her mind. A shadow cast on the tile floor. She turned her head to see him standing in the entryway. Arms to his sides, the lines of his face blurred by the shadows of the kitchen. “You’re fucking crazy to want someone like me in your life. As your lover, or anything else,” Washington murmured, stepping forward. “You should’ve just been happy with me as a bar friend and found someone better.” Wetting her lips, she straightened. “But I can’t just let you leave.” His palms met her cheeks, his fingers drifting down the curves of her face to cup her jaw. “Don’t leave.” Intoxicated by his touch, she couldn’t say a word. “Jacqueline,” he whispered. Her name had never sounded more erotic than it did in the sweet caress of his husky voice. “Kiss me,” she begged. His hands moved to her scalp, tugging the elastic from her ponytail. It dropped on the counter behind her just as his fingers dug into her hair. “I’m going to have to do a lot more than that.” Washington tilted her head upward, looking over her face. Then he kissed her. It was soft, gentle, and over too soon. “Promises, promises.” Jackie slipped her hands up the sides of his shirt, feeling the hard muscles underneath the fabric. “Kiss me like you mean it.” “Oh fucking hell.” He leaned over her, his mouth meeting hers, hard and insistent, pushing his tongue inside. One hand clutched the roots of her hair, the other tracing the curve of her body.
Ben Esra telefonda seni bosaltmami ister misin?
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